her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize