I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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