shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
