my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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