she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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