Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
sarcasm needs its own font
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
