yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
