...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
