ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
