Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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