You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
