so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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