Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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