HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Randomize