I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
