I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
