you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
