So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
