I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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