Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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