God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
