You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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