You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
