But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
