There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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