He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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