Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
