He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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