my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
