Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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