Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
