Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
