Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
