i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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