At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
