So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We are two peas in an std pod
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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