Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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