i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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