I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
