I think scott just propositioned me for sex
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
