Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
