so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
