While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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