Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
