Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
