I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
