can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
