I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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