Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
