You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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