Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
