dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How naked do you want me to be?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize