Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
