I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
