i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
