Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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