I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
