It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
