There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
