Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You dont lie about slip and slides
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize