my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
