Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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