Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize