I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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