did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize